Yesterday, we called college football a haunted house. This morning, I would like to apologize to haunted houses. Most of them have clearly marked exits and employees who eventually stop chasing you.
Halloween delivered seven losses by AP-ranked teams, including USC’s 30–18 takedown of No. 2 Ohio State, while Indiana needed overtime and Miami escaped North Carolina by three. We asked for chaos. Apparently, someone selected expedited shipping.
Ohio State Went to Hollywood and Got Cast as the Victim
USC beat No. 2 Ohio State 30–18, moving the Trojans to 7–2 and dropping the Buckeyes to 6–2. This was not a last-second upset that required six replay reviews and a favorable bounce off a marching-band tuba. USC took the lead on the second play and never surrendered it.
Freshman Trent Mosley announced the evening’s intentions with a 69-yard touchdown, finished with five catches for 101 yards, and added a 44-yard punt return. Ohio State bought a ticket to Southern California and spent the first quarter watching someone else’s highlight reel.
Then freshman tight end Mark Bowman delivered a 70-yard catch-and-run, hurdling and shedding defenders to set up the touchdown that pushed USC’s lead to 27–9. At that point, the Buckeyes weren’t defending a tight end. They were background actors in his recruiting commercial.
Yes, Ohio State was missing injured starting quarterback Julian Sayin, and Luke Fahey was making his first career start. That matters. It does not explain why the defense and supporting cast apparently decided the freshman should handle the evening on expert mode.
The Buckeyes piled up 464 total yards but did not score their first touchdown until 2:12 remained, having settled for three field goals before halftime. That is not an offense finishing drives. That is an offense repeatedly reaching the checkout counter and discovering its card has been declined.
The whiplash is the point: USC went from an ugly loss at Wisconsin to Lincoln Riley’s first top-five victory with the Trojans in one week. This sport can turn a coaching referendum into a field-storming in seven days. Try explaining that business model to someone who doesn’t watch.
Indiana Apparently Has a Subscription to Overtime
Our Indiana upset watch did not become an Indiana upset. It became something considerably less believable: a 23–16 overtime escape featuring matching 60-yard field goals at the end of regulation.
Minnesota’s Luke Drzewiecki hit from 60 with 19 seconds left to give the Gophers a 16–13 lead; Indiana answered with a 33-yard Grant Wilson completion to Charlie Becker and Paddy McAteer’s own 60-yarder as regulation expired. Two college kickers briefly turned into a long-range artillery unit. Somewhere, a fan who has spent twenty years yelling “just make the kick” had to sit down.
This was especially absurd because Indiana had already suffered a missed field goal, a blocked attempt and a botched snap before McAteer rescued the afternoon. Naturally, the solution to unreliable short-range kicking was to move the attempt into another ZIP code.
Wilson found Becker for a 25-yard touchdown on the first play of overtime, and the Hoosiers’ defense finished the job. Indiana has now survived Michigan and Minnesota in overtime on consecutive Saturdays. There is “finding a way,” and then there is repeatedly asking your fan base to update its emergency contacts.
Miami Escaped the Haunted House With Its Shirt on Fire
No. 1 Miami survived North Carolina 38–35, but Billy Edwards Jr. threw for 344 yards and four touchdowns against the Hurricanes. The unbeaten record survived. The defensive film review should probably come with a content warning.
Mark Fletcher Jr. scored three touchdowns, and Miami paired a late strip-sack with a touchdown drive capped by Malachi Toney to create crucial separation. That is the distinction between a contender with problems and a contender with a loss: somebody still made the winning plays.
Even the escape required an extended checkout process: after a late UNC touchdown, the Tar Heels recovered two onside kicks that were wiped out by penalties before a third attempt failed. Miami did not simply leave Chapel Hill. It had to complete the haunted house’s bonus level.
The Rest of the Sport Also Refused to Behave
- Iowa State 51, No. 24 Oklahoma State 49: Kyle Konrardy won it with a 34-yard field goal as time expired after the teams combined for 1,114 yards and 100 points. Defense was apparently an optional Halloween costume.
- Syracuse 30, No. 19 SMU 27: Steve Angeli found Noah Meyers for the winning touchdown with 17 seconds left, damaging the Mustangs’ playoff case and complicating the ACC race. Nothing says welcome to November like discovering your résumé has been mugged by an orange.
- Iowa 30, No. 25 Wisconsin 0: The Badgers followed their victory over USC by getting shut out at Kinnick, while Hank Brown completed 20 of 24 passes for 222 yards and two touchdowns. Wisconsin beat USC, USC beat Ohio State, and Iowa erased Wisconsin. Please do not attempt to turn that into a ranking formula without adult supervision.
- Oregon 34, No. 20 Northwestern 26: The Ducks erased a 14-point deficit to beat the ranked Wildcats. In this season, even the familiar logos require you to check which side of the upset they’re standing on.
For clarity, seven ranked teams lost, but two of those defeats came against other ranked teams: Georgia beat Florida, and Texas Tech beat Arizona. That leaves five AP-ranked teams beaten by unranked opponents. We do not need to inflate the chaos. The actual invoice is expensive enough.
A Brief Statement From the Utah Upset Watch Department
Yesterday, we circled Cincinnati as the chaos special. Utah responded by leading 42–6 at halftime and winning 49–25.
So yes, our upset watch was accurate in the sense that someone watching was upset. It was us.
Credit where it belongs: Utah walked into the trap and dismantled it. Miami, Utah and UCLA all remained unbeaten, with the Bruins shutting out Nevada 27–0. The survivors deserve their flowers, even if some of them required emergency assistance to reach the florist.
The Playoff Committee Gets the Cleanup Shift
The first College Football Playoff rankings arrive Tuesday, November 3. After this Saturday, the committee should receive hazard pay.
Ohio State’s playoff hopes are not dead, but the Buckeyes now have two losses and a difficult remaining schedule, starting with Oregon. USC, meanwhile, has supplied the kind of signature victory that changes the conversation about a season. My read: neither should be treated like a finished argument. One just lost the benefit of the doubt, and the other finally earned a reason to demand it.
That is what makes this season so entertaining. A ranking is not body armor. A brand name is not a touchdown. And a convincing performance last Saturday does not come with a warranty for the next one.
Yesterday’s post asked whether the haunted house had another jump scare. USC answered by taking Ohio State’s candy, while the rest of us discovered the exit leads directly into November.
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